Off Topic
by Isis Blue
Summary: Life is better a little off topic!


I was going to get my parents. They deserved it from what they did to me on my 16th birthday. They blindfolded my eyes, took me outside, and showed me a toy car of some expensive car. So I was going to give them the worst news they could hear from their 17, almost 18, year old daughter. I know, I know somewhat late but things had happened but I had a plan…

I. Was. Pregnant.

Not really of course...or I wouldn't be speaking so sarcastically. I mean who would even look at a girl with pink hair, natural, who needed her manga/anime fix? Or a girl who drew random eyes on her class notes...or the characters that consume her mind? Yes I, Sakura, am a one of 'those' people. I'm sorry I don't fit into what people think is 'cool'. I hate those stores that just brainwash people...those...preppie stores where my, once BFF, now spends too much money and time.

But now I'm off topic...but thats just me! Off topic 24/7! I sometimes feel bad for Hinata for having to deal with me. I mean sure she's dating Naruto but she chose him over Kiba...who was now _very_ close to Shino (Total hottie! I think it's the whole "I'm just here" vibe) if you know what I mean. So I couldn't feel bad for her about that...but I'm a different story. I am a parasite and she is my yummy host...who gives the best advice and is so caring and never talks bad about me...and I've been living with her and her family for about year now.

But. She chose me. She didn't have to care like everyone else when my sister died because of abuse...or when my little brother was diagnosed with a tumor in his brain which had spread from his liver. He was only 11 when they found it and died four days later. I never got to say good bye to anyone. And then my sister was found dead in her bedroom thanks to her husband's fist. She hadn't cooked his steak right.

That's when our house was burnt to a crisp.

I know...wonderful!

So I moved in with Hinata because she had room and my parents didn't. But they were still in my life. They never left me. They were there every morning and every night.

And yes that birthday...were they got me. So I was going to get them!

I made my way to the bus stop with Robert Pattinson in my ear and my nose in a book I had read many times. And Hinata by my side texting her lover boy. That was the routine. Only when I saw a shadow in my way did I look up to see Chicken Ass boy. Sure the boy was fine. Our school had been blessed with gorgeous boys so it's not like he was a rarity. It's just...he's so..._Sasuke_. And we had been paired in home economics. Yes...all hot men are gay.

I walked around him and stood next to the light pole. I felt someone watching me so I looked up to see Sasuke looking at me. I raised an eyebrow and this seemed to make him pissed off. I hope he knows that his lips will stay a thin line if he keeps them like that.

I took my earbud out and gave him 'You just interrupted my Robert moment.' He didn't seem to understand.

"What's with the staring?" I asked.

"...You get the baby."

"Oh really now. You get it one week while I get a week hotshot," I explained returning to my Robert world only for a shadow to loom over me. I sighed and looked up. God this boy just makes me what to jump him.

His eyes were not black but were dark pools of midnight blue only looking black from afar. His features were angular and masculine. His shoulders were broad and his frame lean. And his narrow little hips...do you know how hard it is not to trace every line of his body?

"That doesn't work Sakura," He said moving his face closer. I think it was supposed to intimidate me but it didn't work that well because all I saw were his lips now un-thin. I almost leaned in but sadly the bus came and we both separated. Drat!

"Naruto it doesn't have to be the same race as you," Hinata was trying to explain to her boyfriend now the father of their _child_. Sasuke and I had a baby girl which I wanted to name Sakura the second only for Sasuke to crush my dreams.

"Then how about Bob?" I asked tired of his attitude, "And you need to pull the stick that is up you butt out." He glared at me and I mocked him. This was so fun!

"Just pick a good name—thats not yours," Sasuke added before I could say my name was good. It was like he knew me.

"Kiki?" I asked only earning myself a bored little look, "Ezra?"

"Sakura," Sasuke groaned as he rubbed his face with his strong, huge hands.

"Yumi...Hatsumi...Hikari...Honey...Hino...Ami?" I said listing names.

"Hikari Uchiha," Sasuke mused before writing her name on the sheet.

"Kari for short," I said picking up the baby and cradling her. These new ones were so realistic...their heads moved, they never turn off, and they have a bracelet scanner so only Sasuke or I could attend to her.

I couldn't help but smile down at her. I'm a sucker for babies. And I guess Sasuke is too because he wouldn't stop staring. I looked up at him with a soft look thanks to Kari.

"You want to hold?" I asked as she cooed. I looked down at her and my smile broadened. I started to move her away from my chest and I held her out to Sasuke. He looked lost as he looked down at Kari. I rolled my eyes and helped form his arms to fit Kari. He was a tad awkward but he soon got the hang of it.

"Perfect," I said sitting back and watching Sasuke start to move with her. He would be a good dad. He just needed to open up and stop acting so cold.

"I'll get her first...if you want?" I said as Sasuke slowly looked up at me. God the things babies do to men. He looked soft and caring but it all changed as Kari left his arms as he gave her back. And I did notice he skimmed his fingers across my fingers to her face.

"Aa," and that was all I got as school ended. And thanks for a new rule we no longer had bells but songs. Right now it was a Queen song that I could understand because Naruto's kid was shrieking. I shook my head and collected Kari and my things and headed to class.

I walked onto the bus with my wonderful Kari only to have screaming babies. But I started to laugh as I saw that they were all around Sasuke. Since Nari was coming over, and he occupied my seat, I sat next to Daddy Sasuke. He looked over at me as I put my purse/backpack on the floor soon followed by an empty car seat...stroller...baby carrier...thing. I sat with Kari on my knee and started to bounce her.

"...I need your help with something Sasuke..."

"Hn," was all I got.

"I need you to come over and look like yourself while I explain how I was pregnant,"

"Thats not going to work Sakura,"

"I know...but I want to tell them, you come in with little Kari, here, and I tell them about the project," I explained nuzzling Kari and she cooed. She loves her mommy!

"...Fine," Sasuke said looking out the window as we left the school.

Mom and Dad sat on the couch drinking tea with Hinata's parents when the teenagers attacked. Hinata bowed and headed up to her room with Naruto. I entered slowly.

"Mom...Dad...I need to tell you something," I said using what I learned from drama.

"...Whats wrong sweetie?" My mom asked as I looked at her. They were soooooo going to get it.

"...I'm so sorry...I'm growing a baby in my tummy," I said looking up at them. They gave me blank stares for awhile.

"...In your tummy?" My father asked with a smirk.

"Yep. And I just gave birth! Meet your grand kiddo Hikari Uchiha!" I said as Sasuke entered. He stood next to me and acted like his normal self.

"Hello Mr. Uchiha...I hope you can handle Sakura," My father joked. Sasuke just grunted but looked at my father.

"Let me see," My mom said standing. Sasuke held Kari out so she could be seen and my mom turned to mush. She started to speak baby talk and I could see Sasuke going crazy.

"Mom hold her while I steal the father of my child away," I said making my dad smile. Mom smiled and took Kari which let me get Sasuke away from the people.

"Don't you think what you're doing to them is cruel?" Sauske asked leaning against his awesome car.

"Now you talk," I mumbled to myself. "My parents and I came to his understanding that sadness and all the crap that came with all of our losses were not going to cut it."

"No pun intended?" He asked referring to the scars across my wrists. When the house was burnt to the ground because of my sister's widower—isn't that a funny word "widower" it's like he made himself a widow because he killed her so now whenever I see a widower I think he killed his wife…yes even if he is 70 years old—and I had no home I saw no way out of the pain and loneliness so I pulled a knife from Sasuke's house—Sasu here is my neighbor…well Hinata's neighbor…anyways we were here at her house and I just happened upon his open garage and the combat knife (his daddy is some big military dude) was on the counter and I just blinked and red blood was oozing from both cuts and they burned. Sasuke found me and end of story—wow…I know how to be confusing!

"Nope…well maybe. Mom and Dad just need to laugh. Now that I think about it…so do you Mr. I'm-Perfect-Quite-Dark-And-Mysterious-Type." I looked behind me and saw some distance away a tree swing. I smiled and sat down and watched as Sasuke-kun followed me.

"So you think I'm perfect?" I could just hear the smirk forming on his sculpted lips.

"Would you like for me to list all the adjectives at I would describe you as?" I started to think of all the bad and good adjectives, but all brain function stopped when Sasuke bent that chicken ass head of his to my lips and kissed me.

"I think I got the message," Sasu said walking away with a new swagger in his step.

"So now you decide to kiss me? To actually have a full conversation with me?" I asked as I flew off of the swing to literally run into his strong back. He turned and he still had that evil smirk on his face.

"Aa," was all he said as he went into his house.

* * *

So now I'm 35 and I'm pregnant for real with Sasuke's third kid because the man is a sex maniac and he wants to populate the world with little mini-Sasukes and mini-Sakuras. Life is good when you get a little off topic.

* * *

_My first Naruto story and it is a total crack-fic. Hope ya'll like it!_


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